The Revolution R180 Toaster Review

     Like choosing a new car or even a house, the toaster market is filled with many different options to choose from. Some options may be bank breaking, while others are basically free with how low their prices go. I don't actually own a working toaster at the moment, due to mine exploding the other night. I have been without the side of champions for days and my eggs haven't tasted the same ever sense. This blog is being made to log my search for my own personal Excalibur. My quest is to look at several different models to find the gold at the end of the rainbow. As the ancient tale of St. Goldilocks is told, I want my toast to be just right. Because I don't actually want to buy over 20 different toasters, this is going to be a hands-off review of products that I can only see pictures of and read descriptions of.

    My search first led me to the Revolution R180 toaster. This is an interesting little product that combines the joy of making toast with the ideas of poor financial decisions. I do NOT like this product. It goes against the laws created by the ancient Toast Counsel and spits in the face of its predecessors. As the texts of the Toast Counsel says "He whom toasts, must be disciplined with art of patience." This line had stumped toast scholars for years, and I think I finally cracked the code. A faster toaster means nothing in the grand scheme of breakfast making. Toasters of yesterday were made to complete their process at the perfect time that it would take to fry up an egg. A faster toaster completely nulls this principle, because it means that the toast throws off the balance of the breakfast making process. Old toasters are ingenuously made to pop up exactly when you finish their sister dish, so changing this time completely ruptures the integrity of the breakfast formula.

    The sins of this product do not end at the cook time. The Revolution R180 toaster comes at a market price of $299.99. This is absurd for the amount of problems that it calls features. It comes with a screen that allows you to pick which food that you want to put into its voracious mouth. Whether its a piece of bread, an English muffin, or even a toaster pastry, this toaster has a preinstalled setting for it. From this screen, you can select how much browning you want on your food and check how much cook time is left. However, this screen is still limited. I come from a household that owned a toaster over. Growing up, my brother and I loved watching toast and other meals cook from outside the inferno of the toaster oven. I am spoiled by the included show that came with owning a toaster over. Some nights, I lie awake in tears, while missing the toaster oven days of my youth. It was like King Author seeing his sword in the stone. Ahead of me was my destiny. For nearly $300, I would like a toaster to allow me to watch as my bread evolves into my future morning meal. 

    Overall, this is not a complete bust. At least it works. On the other hand, cook time limitations, its price point, and lack of toast window make this product not worth buying at all. Even as a nice gift to your middle of the road favorite uncle, you are better off  buying something cheaper or to just invest in a toaster over. I rate this product a 1.5 slices of toast out of 5.